Ohana
by NotYetLostFaith
Summary: "Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten" Three years after the events of Secrets, Kate and Rick are engaged and trying their best to raise their family. But it's never that simple. Life has thrown them a curveball, and is about to throw another. Between them, they have to make sure that no one gets left behind.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note-This has been sat on my computer for a while and seeing as I wrote half a chapter in one sitting today, I figured it was time to start uploading it. It will be longer than Secrets, as will the chapters bar this one, but I don't know how long it'll be yet. For now, strap in and enjoy the ride. NYLF xx

* * *

Kate held her little boy into her chest as she rocked them back and forth. They were sat on the kitchen floor, her legs crossed underneath her to help support the five year old, trying desperately to cry quietly.

Rick had been up writing all night, a deadline coming up just a little too fast, and had come to bed only fifteen minutes before Kate had gotten up. She couldn't wake him, not just because she couldn't cope, because, something that happened anywhere up to twenty times a day, had finally broken down her composure, causing her to tremble against the kitchen tiling in an attempt not to cry.

Her poor broken little boy.

"Shhh." She whispered softly, rocking with Charlie's tiny body as he convulsed. "It's okay baby boy. It'll be over soon." Kate turned when she heard a sigh from the edge of the kitchen.

"Oh Kate." Rick murmured as he crossed the room to sit beside her.

"I'm sorry." She murmured tearfully. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Rick shook his head, cupping her cheeks and stroking his thumbs along her cheek bones, catching the falling tears. "Kate, sometimes this gets to you, I don't blame you, and I don't ever want you to feel as though you have to hide it."

Kate nodded slowly.

"When did it start?"

"He came down for breakfast about ten minutes ago. He was happy and eating and chatting away to me and then it all just stopped. I caught him before he fell but he's been like this for a whole minute already."

Rick hummed as he carefully stroked a strand of hair from Charlie's forehead. "He'll come out of it soon Kate. It'll be okay. Give him at least another thirty seconds or so and call Dr Sheppard if you're worried."

Kate sighed.

"Baby I _know _how hard this is for you to watch, but it happens and we need to accept it." He leaned in and gently kissed her forehead. "I'll phone the school, let them know he might not be in, then I'll phone Gates."

Kate shook her head. "I'll phone the Captain." She corrected softly. "Phone the school, go back to bed."

"Kate..."

"Rick you've been asleep for half an hour at most." He gave her a look before his attention was drawn down to her lap.

"Hey little man." Castle murmured, resting a soothing hand on Charlie's cheek as he stopped jerking and his bright blue eyes fluttered open.

He watched him vacantly for a moment before his face lost all its colour.

Rick scooped him up and made it to the sink in time for him to lose his breakfast as tidily as possible.

"It's okay Charlie." Rick soothed, smoothing the hand not holding him, up and down his back. "We're right here, it's okay."

A few moments later, Charlie dropped his head into Castle's chest.

"Here baby, sip this." Kate murmured, gently holding a cup of water to the boy's lips. He sipped for a couple of seconds before leaning back into Castle.

"Phone the Captain Kate, I'll put him back to bed and call the school." He laid a gentle kiss on her still damp cheek and made his way round her, stepping slowly up the stairs, holding her son close.

Kate sighed deeply before reaching for the phone. She stopped at the last moment though and rested her hand on the tiny swell of her abdomen instead.

"Oh sweetheart." She whispered. "Please be safe. Please just be okay." She ran her hand in a slow circle around her bump before reaching again for the phone.

She'd have to take at least a few hours off to let Rick sleep. He wouldn't let her take the day, insistent that he could watch Charlie; he could deal with his fits better than she could really.

She just hated to burden him with it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi Kaitlin." Rick sighed into the phone as he leaned against Charlie's closed bedroom door. The baby monitor was on and in his pocket, so he wasn't worried about not hearing the boy if he needed him.

"Hey Mr Castle, bad morning?" Kaitlin asked sympathetically.

The young woman was Charlie's teacher at pre-school and had become a good friend to the family in the year he'd been attending.

Her gorgeous blonde hair, bright blue eyes, long legs and hourglass figure, had most people thinking she was more beauty queen than academic, until she opened her mouth and they realised she had her masters in child psychology from Oxford and could do pretty much anything she wanted, yet she chose to teach pre-schoolers. Both Rick and Kate had a lot of respect for the young woman.

"He's sleeping off a minute and a half tonic-clonic as we speak. It wasn't too bad but it did make him throw up."

Kaitlin clucked her tongue maternally. "Poor kid." She murmured. "Are we aiming for later today or would you rather we cut our losses and try for tomorrow?"

That was another thing Rick personally liked about Kaitlin. Everything about her students was personal and she had a greater interest in their happiness and wellbeing than she did in having them in the classroom. It was something they all needed with Charlie's fits being so unpredictable.

"I'd like to aim for later today if we can. But I'll give you a call in a couple of hours? I'll let him sleep it off and see how he is."

"Of course. Just let me know either way. I'm not planning anything he'd need to catch up on anyway and I'd rather see him tomorrow than push him today."

Rick smiled gratefully. "Thanks Kaitlin." He could hear the bead bracelets she always wore, something her kids made her every year, move as she waved away his comment.

"No need to thank me, Mr Castle." He could hear the smile in her voice. "How's Ms Beckett this morning?" He was always thankful she asked.

"She'll be okay." He murmured.

"Of course." Kaitlin replied his answer the standard one she received every time. "So, we'll talk again in a few hours, see where Charlie is, and see if he'd be up for spending some time here then, yeah?"

Castle smiled. "Yeah, cheers Kaitlin."

"Not at all, Mr Castle. Talk soon." They hung up and Rick went to find Kate.

_**KBRC**_

His fiancé was sat on the edge of their bed, spinning the phone end to end in her hands, staring into the middle distance.

"You okay?" Castle asked quietly.

Kate looked up sharply before nodding slowly. "Gates is happy for me to take the morning off."

Rick sat beside her. "You don't need to take the whole morning if you're needed at work, Kate. I can handle getting Charlie up and either getting him to school, or playing with him." Rick assured her quietly.

Kate sighed as she looked down at her hands. "Kicking me out of my own home, huh? Cheers." She had aimed for levity and missed, badly.

Castle took the phone and put it on the bed beside him before taking her hand in his. "Kate, it's not like that and you _know_ it. I just know how important your work is..."

"More important than my _son_?" Kate interrupted, ice and heartbreak at war in her voice.

Castle gave her a hard look. "Is that what I said?" He asked defensively.

Kate shrugged. "You didn't have to. You think I'm as bad as Will. Just because Charlie's fits make me cry, does _not_ mean I'm happy to _abandon_ him, Rick. He's my _son._ _Mine._ And I would _never_ abandon him." Kate ranted before getting up, intent on locking herself in the bathroom until she could get a handle on her emotions.

She'd forgotten that he was holding her hand.

Castle swung her into him and set his hands on her hips, holding her in place even as she stared at the ensuite door. "What's this about, Kate? I know you'd never abandon him and I _certainly _don't think you're as bad as Will. Where's this all coming from?"

Kate shrugged, biting her lip to keep it from trembling.

"Kate." He started softly. "Is this about the scan?"

Kate shrugged again. How was it he could pinpoint the source of her problems before she could?

"Kate, I know you're scared, but it'll be fine. The _baby _will be fine."

Kate dropped her chin to her chest.

"_Talk_ to me darling, don't lash out. I'm here for you to talk to."

She sighed deeply before settling her hand on his neck, her thumb gently stroking the baby soft skin behind his ear.

"But what if it isn't? What if he or she has the same as Charlie? I mean, you..." she cut herself off before she let that slip. They had been engaged by the time Charlie had his first fit and Kate had always wondered if he would have still asked her, if he had known what a burden she and her son would become.

What if he had a choice this time and decided he'd rather just have an easy life, only having to deal with his recently in college daughter?

"You don't know." She finished lamely.

Rick sighed and gently stroked the back of her thigh. "Kate, the baby will be fine, we'll get married and Charlie will grow out of his seizures. Just have faith." He gently kissed her protruding stomach, already bigger than the pictures she had shown him of when she was pregnant with Charlie. She joked that their baby had inherited his big ego. "Isn't that right, baby, huh? Mama just needs to believe it will all be okay."

Kate sighed softly. "I, this is normal for me." She revealed softly, slowly.

Rick looked back up at her, an encouraging smile on his face. She didn't share often, even now they were engaged, but he loved it when she did.

"When I had my first scan with Charlie, I was trembling so bad I couldn't drive. The nurse thought I was going to pass out by the time I got there."

"I'm nervous too Kate." He had to put a positive spin on it, for both of their sakes, but she wasn't alone in her fears. "We can do it, if this baby has seizures like Charlie, I know we can, but it isn't ideal. And I know that even having another baby, when Charlie needs such constant attention scares you. It does me too. But you aren't alone this time angel, I'm here." He gently bent her knees so she was straddling his lap, in order to kiss her tenderly. "I'm not going anywhere Kate and this scan will let us see our beautiful _healthy_ son or daughter, I promise." Kate slumped until she could rest her forehead on his shoulder.

"Part of me wants to get it over with." She revealed in a voice barely loud enough for him to hear. "I want to _know, _without a shadow of a doubt, that our baby is okay. But then there's another part of me that wants to put it off, to never know, at least not until they're born. That way we don't have to make any decisions about our child before we even get to hold them." Castle tightened his hold on her. They'd discussed their options if their baby had the same condition or something similar. Neither were comfortable with playing god, but they both knew it was something they would have to consider if the worst was to happen. "But then," she revealed shyly, pulling up to meet his eyes with a timid little girl smile. "Then there's this part of me that can't wait. I can't wait to sit there, my hand in yours, as we watch our baby for the first time. I can't wait to cry with you about how perfect our child is and I can't wait for that moment when we realise that it's real. That finally, our _third _child," she emphasised wryly, "is both of ours. That we're finally a family, y'know?"

Rick kissed her gently. "Kate, we're family before this baby. That ring on your finger makes us a family. Charlie calling me daddy makes us family. Alexis calling you in the middle of the night when she's having guy trouble makes us family. No matter what happens today with our baby, we're still going to be a family."

"I love you." She whispered. "I love you so much and I just want this to all work out for you."

"Hey." Castle smiled, jiggling his legs, making her laugh. "I'm marrying Kate Beckett. Kate Beckett's son calls me daddy. My daughter thinks of Kate Beckett as family. Everything is already worked out for me. This is just icing."

Kate giggled. "Hear that baby? You're icing."


	3. Chapter 3

"Momma?" The distorted question was faint over the baby monitor but it did the trick.

"That was quick." Kate murmured as she stood from Rick's lap and gave him a hand up before they both made their way to the stairs.

Castle shrugged. "You know as well as I do that these things vary. One day he could sleep for the rest of the day and others it's just a five minute nap."

Kate hummed noncommittally as she eased the door open and peaked her head around the door. "Hey baby." Kate murmured softly, crossing the room to kneel beside the bed.

They had a guard up, on the side not against the wall, to protect him from falling out if he had a fit in the night. Kate hated it, said it was like trapping him in, but she knew just as well as everyone else that it was necessary.

"Momma." Charlie murmured, holding his arms up for Kate. She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, holding her son close.

"You feel bad baby?" She murmured, holding her palm to his forehead: fits had been known to raise his temperature.

Charlie nodded languidly. "No school." He sighed softly.

Kate shook her head softly. "Sorry baby. We could try later if you feel up to it. Maybe just the afternoon?" Charlie shrugged, snuggling further into his mother's arms.

Castle leaned against the door frame, watching them fondly, letting them have the moment to themselves. He knew just how frightened Kate got when she was around to watch Charlie fit, she needed this moment to regroup.

"Daddy?" Charlie asked, eyes searching.

"I'm here buddy." Castle murmured, making his way over to kneel beside Kate, gently palming the back of Charlie's head.

"Sorry daddy. Didn't mean to."

Castle heard Kate sigh. Her poor little boy, oh so scared of upsetting Rick with his fits. She could kill Will.

"Hey, I'm never mad at you for this, remember? Can you control this bud; is this something you are doing on purpose?"

Charlie shook his head.

"Right then. It wouldn't be fair to be mad about something you can't help."

Charlie nodded, holding out his arms to Rick. Castle quickly looked up to Kate, who smiled encouragingly, before taking the boy into his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to his crown.

"You and momma gonna see baby today?" Charlie asked softly. They tried to involve him as much as they could, but both of them wanted to go to this first scan at least, without him there.

"We are angel." Kate replied softly, watching her boys with a tender smile. "Maybe we can get your grandfather to watch you hmm? Or," she looked up at Rick, "is Martha around?"

Castle nodded. "Yeah, I'll give her a ring in a minute; ask her to come sit with him while we're out."

Kate smiled. "Thank you." She mouthed.

Castle shook his head, dismissing her thanks. She didn't need to thank him for asking his mother to watch their son. He loved him just as much as she did. It wasn't a burden, she needed to realise that soon.

"You want a bath bubba?" Kate asked softly. "Then maybe we could get you changed, make you feel a bit more human yeah?"

Charlie nodded. "You do it?" He asked quietly.

Kate nodded. They both knew that after his convulsion fits, he wanted Kate. Of course, Rick would never mind that, he would want her too if he had to go through that. Charlie though, ever the adorable diplomat, would cling to Rick after his absence seizures. Neither parent begrudged the other the time, both of them had the boy's interests at heart.

"Course I can baby. Castle, you gonna phone your mom and then make sure we have everything for the hospital?"

Castle nodded. "Sure." He stood up, kissing Charlie's forehead before cupping Kate's cheek. "We've got about an hour before we need to leave okay?" Kate nodded. "Love you." He whispered, kissing her softly.

Kate smiled gently. "Love you too."

_**KBRC**_

Kate gently held her arm around the back of Charlie's shoulders as she balanced his weight in order to wash the soap from his hair.

He'd stopped replying around forty seconds ago, had already slipped into an absence seizure. Of the two, she hated his absence seizures the least; the lesser of the two evils.

She could handle him staring into space.

But watching her boy- the tiny baby she had sat in the hospital with, alone once he father had gone home, and with tears in her eyes, promised that she would always be there for him, would always keep him safe and happy, even if his father wanted nothing to do with him- watching her baby convulse, his muscles tensing and spasming over and over, it tore her heart out.

She hated them both equally once they were over though. The defeat and shame on her child's face killed her every time.

She rinsed the last of the suds out just as she felt Charlie relax and come back to her. He looked around for a moment before finding her eyes. She nodded, knowing the unasked question, her heart tumbling as she watched his chin crumple.

He hated his seizures as much as they did. He was so terrified of them scaring Rick away and so worried when he saw how much they distressed his mother. Her poor compassionate little boy, far too caring for his own good. Far too susceptible to being hurt, even if it was nearly a year ago.

"Momma." He cried, arms reaching.

Kate plucked him out of the bath and brought him into her lap, wrapping him in the towel she already had waiting.

"Shhh, baby it's okay." She soothed her lips against his crown. "They'll go away at some point little man." She murmured, hoping beyond hope she wasn't lying to him.

"Daddy?" He asked quietly, his lingering shame at his episode still at the forefront of the word.

Kate nodded, standing with her son in her arms. "Let's go find him huh?" Charlie nodded against her chest, his little fist curled in the material of her shirt.

Kate found him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, smiling at something Martha was saying on the other end of the phone.

He looked up as Kate shut the baby gate they still had on the stairs and when he noticed the look on her face, the way Charlie was clinging to her, he hurriedly said his goodbyes to his mother and hung up the phone.

"Hey, everything alright?" He asked softly. Kate stayed silent as she passed Charlie, wrapped in nothing but a towel, into his arms. Castle gathered him close and kissed his forehead before the boy buried his face into his father's neck. "Kate?" Rick asked softly, watching as his fiancé pottered around the kitchen.

He knew this restlessness.

Kate nodded and Rick gave her a comforting smile before turning back to the boy in his arms.

"Hey, buddy, you okay now kiddo?"

Charlie nodded. "Not makin' you late, right?" He asked softly, the exhaustion of his seizures making his words soft and lazy.

Castle shook his head. "Nope, still got half an hour before we've got to leave, and momma's stuff is all packed, so we don't need to rush." He added for Kate's benefit.

Kate smiled at him, gulping water down like a man straight from the desert. She had to have a full bladder for her scan and had discovered the first time round that she had to drink it less than an hour before if she had any hope of making it to her scan without needing to start again.

"Good." Charlie whispered. "Daddy?"

"Yes baby?" Rick murmured to him softly, tenderly.

"Will you play with me when we get back? Think it's gonna be a bad day."

Rick heard Kate choke on her drink behind him, could feel her heart breaking.

"You don't even want to try school Charlie?" Rick asked softly, trying to keep his voice neutral. It didn't matter to him if Charlie ended up at school or not. Especially if it was a bad day.

Charlie shook his head. "Feel 'barrassed when I fit at school. Don't wanna risk it."

Castle turned his head slightly to see Kate braced against the sink, her breathing soft and shallow.

"That's okay buddy. You don't have to go. I'll come and play with you. Mommy has to go to work though, is that okay or do you need all your people home?"

"I think I'll be okay. Momma?" He asked gently, pulling his head up to find his mother.

"Yes angel?" She answered her voice carefully steady.

"Will _you_ be okay if you go to work?"

Castle smiled softly. One thing he'd learned about Charlie Beckett was just how fiercely he cared for his mother.

Kate smiled softly, crossing the room to cup the back of his head, kissing his cheek softly. "I'll be okay baby. When we get back from the hospital, you and daddy can play, and I'll see you tonight when I've finished catching bad guys okay? And I'll cook your favourite for your dinner."

Charlie beamed. "Thanks momma."

Kate leaned against Rick's back, wrapping her arms around his waist. "You're welcome baby."


	4. Chapter 4

It had been half an hour since they had kissed Charlie goodbye and left him under Martha's watchful eye. Half an hour since they had made Martha promise to keep them informed of Charlie's progress during their time together. Half an hour since they left for the sonogram appointment. Twenty minutes since they sat down after signing in. And Kate was getting restless.

"Calm down." Rick murmured softly, gently pressing his palm against her jiggling knee.

"Sorry." She whispered, resting her full foot on the floor to stop the movement. "When are they gonna call us?"

Castle smiled gently at the whine in her tone. "They're running late Kate, they told us that."

"I need to pee." She hissed.

Rick chuckled. "You do that and you'll have to start all over again." Kate growled, making her fiancé laugh again. "It won't be long baby." He tried to reassure her.

She surprised him when she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm scared." She whispered ever so softly.

Rick sighed gently, wrapping his arm around her, drawing her close, as he kissed the top of her head. "Everything's gonna be fine." He stroked the widest part of her bump gently. "Bubba's fit and healthy. He or she is already bigger than Charlie at this point, you've told me that. That's gotta be a good sign right?"

Kate shrugged just as the door to their left opened.

"Katherine Beckett?" The young woman called. Rick stood up and took Kate's hand to help her upright. She didn't need the help yet, but the hand was nice. She squeezed his fingers and grabbed her bag, leaving her hand in his as they followed the woman into the room.

Kate rolled up her top and unbuttoned her jeans, pulling them down to her bikini line, as instructed.

"This is gonna be cold, okay?" The technician warned Kate and waited for her nod before squeezing the gel onto the base of her torso.

Kate took Rick's hand, a smile appearing on her face when she felt him lean forward and kiss her knuckles, leaving her hand to rest against his lips.

"Okay, is this your first pregnancy, Katherine?"

Both Castle and Kate smiled. "Kate, and no. This is my second pregnancy. Did you go to Meredith's scans?" She directed her question to her partner.

Rick nodded and Kate couldn't explain the relief deep in her heart for that. "Yeah. I had to sit still and not touch her, but yeah I went to every scan."

Kate smiled before turning back to the young lady currently watching the screen with interest. "Both of our second first scan then."

The tech smiled. "Then you'll know some of this." She startled suddenly, causing Kate's hand to tense around Castle's.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Kate asked softly, her heart sinking. She knew it was too good to be true. There was something wrong with her baby and yet again there was nothing she could do. Stupid hot tears welled in her eyes.

"Nothing, just. I just need to get my boss okay? Just give me two seconds." She left the room quickly.

Kate let her head fall back against the bed as her eyes slipped closed, two fat tears rolling down into her hairline.

"Hey." Rick squeezed her hand gently, gaining her attention. "She said there was nothing wrong." He reminded her softly.

"Yeah, and then she had to get her boss Rick." She replied bitterly. "If everything was okay, she wouldn't have had to do that." Her voice petered out into something small and scared.

Castle could no longer fight the urge to hold her and stood up in order to slip his arm around her shoulders and bring her top half into his body. Kate allowed the movement and buried her face into his stomach as her hand came up to clutch at his belt loop.

The door reopened a few minutes later, their tech, and a guy just a little older than Castle, entering to sit beside the bed, in front of the screen.

"Ms Beckett, my name is Doctor Fredricks alright? Lucy says that I need to take a look at your scan. Are you okay to just bear with me while I do that?"

Kate nodded. "Kate." She added quietly, the manners her mother had hammered into her, choosing now to make themselves known.

Doctor Fredricks smiled softly. "Ryan." He offered kindly. "Now, just give me a moment." Kate nodded and turned to face Rick. He gently cupped her cheek with his warm palm and nudged her nose with his own.

"It's gonna be okay." He whispered for her ears only. "Have faith Kate. Everything's gonna be okay. Faith, trust and pixie dust remember?" Kate smiled at the reference to Charlie's favourite film.

"I love you." She murmured thickly.

Castle smiled gently at her, capturing her mouth in a tender kiss. "Love you too Beckett." She smiled just before the doctor cleared his throat. Both partners turned to him with a synchronicity they had gotten used to.

"Okay. I'm going to start by addressing that fear written across both of your faces okay?" They both nodded. "Everything is _fine._ Everything is healthy and growing as it should. I understand that you had some concerns about neurological issues due to your other child's condition, but there is no indication of that at this time, alright?" He waited until Kate had visibly relaxed before starting again. "However." He said lowly and pointedly. "There was something unusual about your scan, something Lucy was right to come and get me for."

Castle could feel Kate's breathing speed up, her pulse beneath his fingers kick up a notch, and couldn't stand it a second later. "C'mon doc, _before_ she has a heart attack, would you just tell us?"

Ryan looked from one to the other before turning the screen towards them. "Okay." He took the tip of his pen and pointed to a fluttering point on the screen. "This is a heartbeat." He barely paused before moving on. "As is this." He pointed to another point a little way down before moving his pen again. "As is that." He watched realisation spread across them as his patient went grey and her partner's jaw dropped.

"Three heart beats?" Kate whispered softly.

"Congratulations Kate, you're carrying triplets."

* * *

Author's Note-Just thought I'd mention that I had the triplet idea months ago back when I was first planning this story. The fact that they (spoiler alert) apparently have three kids at some point (spoiler alert) is purely coincidental. NYLF xx


	5. Chapter 5

"T-triplets? I'm sorry, did you just say triplets?" Kate asked quietly, finding it hard to breathe, while Rick's hold on her hand tightened almost to the point of pain.

"Yes, Kate, you are currently carrying identical twins- who we'll call baby A and baby B- as well as a singular foetus, who will be known medically as baby C." Ryan explained slowly, calmly. He could see that Kate was on the verge of an anxiety attack and her partner seemed to have stopped breathing entirely.

"Icing has friends." Castle whispered, prompting Kate to drop his hand in order to slap his chest.

"Rick?! How can you joke about this?" She asked him breathlessly. "How, how, we, we _can't..." _Kate pressed her hand into her sternum. "I have a five year old who needs the attention of a newborn. How, I, we, _three_? Are you _sure_?"

Dr Fredricks stood and put himself squarely in his patient's eye line. "Yes Kate. Now I need you to take a few deep breaths okay? Just try and stay focused on me alright?" Kate nodded, maintaining eye contact and trying to get her lungs to co-operate. "Now, I am vaguely aware of your elder child's issues. And, being aware of that, and of the fact that three is a big number, and thus a high risk pregnancy, now is a time to start thinking about your options."

Rick's eyes snapped to the doctor's from where they had been watching Kate concernedly. "Options? What options?" He asked apprehensively.

"We have to offer, in the situation of two or more foetuses, the option of what we call a reduction." The doctor paused for a moment to make sure he had Kate breathing normally before he dropped this bomb. "This is where we, in basic terms, terminate one or more foetuses..."

"No." Rick interrupted sharply. "Never, no way. No."

Ryan bit his tongue for a second before tilting his head slightly. "Perhaps you'd like to discuss that with your fiancé, given that it would be up to _her_ to carry this pregnancy to term if she went through with it."

Castle looked back to his fiancé to find her staring at the ground, tears in her eyes. "Kate?" He whispered. "Baby?"

Kate couldn't process this fast. An hour ago she was scared they'd tell her their baby had the same problems as their brother. Now here they were telling her that there were three of them. How could they have four children under six? How would they cope? How would _Alexis_ feel? She already had to adjust to Charlie, how would she feel about having _three_ new siblings?

Kate took herself in hand before she allowed herself to hyperventilate. She could fall apart later, alone, while Rick stayed with Charlie. God she wished her mom was here.

"Kate?" Dr Fredricks prompted.

"I," she faltered, "I'm sorry. Can I, we, think about this?" She could feel the betrayal scribbled across her fiancé's face and couldn't help her right hand finding her engagement ring. She twisted it nervously as she refused to meet Rick's eye.

"Of course you can. You're ten weeks pregnant at the moment, which means that, while we would like to do this as soon as possible, you can certainly have anywhere up to two weeks. Kate, don't rush this decision. It has to be your decision and you have to be sure." Kate nodded succinctly.

"Can, uhh, can we go yeah?" She asked quietly.

Dr Fredricks nodded. "Lucy is just getting your pictures." They hadn't even noticed her leave. "As soon as she's back and you're cleaned up and ready, you can leave. I'll make you an appointment for a few weeks time, but here," he produced a business card and handed it to her with a small smile, "if you make a decision or you need to talk, or need more information, call me, okay?" He waited for her to nod before smiling. "Okay. Congratulations, both of you." He momentarily considered offering his hand to Rick to shake, but he had a feeling it wouldn't be received well so he left them to it.

"Kate?" Castle asked, low and just a little dangerous. She, however, wouldn't meet his eye. She instead took the paper towels provided and cleaned the gel from her stomach, not letting her fingers linger any longer than was needed, and readjusted her clothing. She sat up and took her time slipping her jacket on; unable to not notice that Castle didn't even offer to help.

Lucy knocked and opened the door, handing the little wallet of photos to Kate, who promptly slid them into her pocket and stood, thanking the tech quietly and leaving the room. Castle sighed before grabbing her bag and following her out.

_**KBRC**_

Kate didn't say a word, even as she got in the passenger seat and strapped in, staring out of the windscreen unseeingly. Castle got in the driver's seat, slamming the door more than necessary, strapping in and putting the keys in the ignition but not turning them.

"Kate." He started, startling when his fiancé crumpled in her seat, laying her face in her palms. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed silently. "Kate?" He asked, his voice softening, gently resting his hand on her thigh, drawing it back as if she'd burnt him when she jumped and pulled herself away from him.

"I'm sorry." She murmured as she unclipped her seat belt and grabbed her purse, before getting out the car and walking away.

Rick sighed, knowing better than to go after her. She'd come home at some point. She wouldn't scare Charlie like that. He started the engine downheartedly and turned for home, hoping she'd be there by the time he got back.


	6. Chapter 6

Castle let himself into the loft and immediately forgot his own problems as he saw Martha knelt on the floor, watching over Charlie as he convulsed violently on the floor, his trousers wet, blood trickling from a nasty gash on his forehead.

"Mother?" He asked urgently, quickly locking the door and crossing the room.

"Coffee table." Martha murmured, addressing her son's most urgent concern. "He fell too quickly for me to catch him. He has been like this for half a minute at most."

Castle nodded, gently touching his fingertips to the boy's ankle, not enough to restrain him- a sure way to break his bones- but just enough to be a touchstone. "How was he otherwise?"

"Just a few minor absences, no more than a handful of seconds each though. He was right. It is a bad day."

Castle hummed softly. "He was a little slow last night. I wonder if he isn't coming down with something."

"Where's Katherine?" Martha asked quietly.

Rick shrugged. "Don't ask."

Martha nodded before she went back to watching over her grandson.

A few more seconds passed before Charlie's body settled.

Castle plastered a soft smile on his face as the little boy's eyes found him.

"Hey buddy." He murmured softly. "You hit your head on the way down. In a second, we'll deal with that okay?"

"Momma?" He asked slowly. Castle's heart broke even as anger swelled at Kate.

"Sorry baby, she's not here at the moment." Charlie swallowed and nodded slowly. "You back?"

The little boy nodded again. "Change." He murmured.

Castle gave him a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, we'll get you changed." He glanced up to his mother to find her on the phone. "Who are you calling?"

"Katherine." Martha supplied obviously.

Castle shook his head. "Don't. She made it clear she needed space."

"Richard, what are you punishing her for?"

Castle shook his head, gently pulling Charlie up to stand, knowing the boy hated to be carried after he'd lost bladder control in a seizure. "Let her come home and see her son with a bandage on his head. Let her come home to her family and realise that she can't do this anymore."

Martha watched her son walk after Charlie, who was waiting patiently at the baby gate, with a sigh. The moment they were out of sight, she sent Kate a text asking her to come home, that Charlie had had a tonic-clonic and was asking for her.

Her son may be punishing his fiancé, but she was a mother of a son and loved Katherine too much to punish her for some unvoiced reason.

_**KBRC**_

Kate ran into the loft and straight up the stairs once she'd realised she couldn't see anyone. She practically burst into Charlie's bedroom to find her son asleep in bed, a huge white bandage adorning his forehead, dried blood still present in his hair. Kate fell to her knees beside him, lifting her hand to touch him when her fiancé's voice sounded from the door.

"Don't." He ordered lowly. "Don't wake him. It took me long enough to settle him without you here."

Kate turned to face him, tears in her eyes.

"How did you even know anyway?"

"Martha texted me." She revealed quietly.

"I asked her not to." Castle murmured, sending Kate's heart tumbling.

"Rick, he's my son, you can't just..."

"What? Make decisions without you? Decide what to do about him without asking you? Be a parent to him because he's not mine? What were you going to say Kate?"

Kate dropped her eyes back to her baby asleep in his bed. "You know, I haven't made any decisions yet."

Castle scoffed. "Well I don't seem to have a say, so why would I care? Do whatever you want Kate, I don't give a damn." He turned sharply and left the room.

Kate sighed, gently kissing her son's forehead, careful not to touch the bandage, before getting up to go after him.

_**KBRC**_

Kate found him stood at his office window, watching the street below, glass of scotch in hand. She sighed deeply, wishing he wouldn't turn to the bottle when things got rocky between them, before gently closing the office door behind her.

"I don't know why you bothered Kate; it'll just hinder you when you run again." Castle sniped. He was hurting, and while he loved her dearly with all his soul, some small part of him wanted to hurt her back.

"I'm not running Castle." She nearly whispered.

Castle scoffed. "You've already done that Kate. Personally I'm waiting for the suitcases to get dragged out and for that ring on your finger to find its way back into the box."

Kate stumbled down to the couch. "I," she faltered. "Do you," she tried, her chest squeezing like a vice around her panicking heart, "do you _want_ me to put it back?" She whispered brokenly. Was the other shoe really dropping now?

"Sorry, do I get a say in that integral-to-our-future-together choice?" He asked sharply, still not turning to face her.

Kate struggled for her next breath. "I, sorry." She whispered. "I just, I'm so, so..."

"Cowardly, cold, closed off." He listed harshly.

"Terrified." Kate cut in tearfully.

Rick finally turned to take her in, noting the bloodshot eyes, the tear tracks on her face. She looked absolutely shattered. Ready to fall apart at any moment. And yeah, he felt bad, but he still didn't get it.

"Explain that to me Kate. We have two kids already, we've both done the baby stage and we did it alone. We have each other now, so why are you so scared of doing it again?"

"Because there's _three_ of them Rick." She reminded him softly. "Charlie needs all of my attention. We were irresponsible to get pregnant in the first place and now..."

"You're actually going to do this aren't you?" He murmured incredulously. "You're actually going to terminate."

Kate sighed, resting her face in her hands. She was so tired of this whole day and it was only ten o'clock. "Castle..."

"No Kate. I want an answer from you." He demanded.

Kate looked back up at him. "Are you actually going to listen to it without biting my head off? Because _I_ am the one who is going to carry three babies, Rick. _I'm_ the one who will have to basically go through labour three times. _I'm_ the one that you're going to blame when you miss deadlines. I'm the one who will have to raise four kids by myself when you get sick of the hassle. And _I'm_ the one who is going to have to carry on, when Charlie has a major fit, and I'm not around to make sure he's okay because I have three infants, and he swallows his tongue and _dies_ and I can't do that and please don't ask me to Rick, please because I _can't_, I'm not strong enough. It will kill me. Please." Castle pulled her firmly into his arms, holding her as her body shook almost as violently as Charlie's did. "Please Rick. Please."


	7. Chapter 7

Castle held her tightly into his chest, trying to keep her together as she sobbed into his shoulder, her hands fisted in his shirt as she held on for dear life.

He'd had no idea this was what was going through her mind.

How could she think he'd get 'sick of the hassle' of having kids with her? They were engaged for goodness sake, he'd asked her to marry him. How could she possibly still think he was going to walk away?

And as for her fears for Charlie, of course he understood that her mind worked like that, planning for every worst case scenario, never thinking it would go to plan. She was a homicide detective- she saw death and destruction on a daily basis- he understood that about her. But to truly think by her taking this pregnancy to term, by her having all three babies, she'd miss the moment that Charlie needed her most, that was madness.

"Kate..." he murmured but she shook her head.

"Please Castle. Not right now okay? Just give me this before you take it all away." Castle stiffened and pulled away sharply, his heart aching for her when she immediately let go of him, wrapping her arms around herself, looking oh so fragile.

"Kate. I'm not leaving. I've told you that already. I _love _you. I love Charlie and yeah, I love those babies already. Kate, do you really trust me so little that you don't believe a word I'm saying to you?" He asked, his voice more desperate, more hardened than he had intended.

Kate floundered for a moment, her mouth opening and closing before she dropped her head to face the floor, shrugging her shoulders.

"Kate, baby," Rick started softly, "I know Will hurt you." He watched his fiancé stiffen and knew he'd hit the nail on the head. "I know he left you and broke your heart and left you to raise Charlie alone. I know that when he came back last year, the things he said, the way he looked at Charlie, the way he acted with you, I know how much that hurt you. But baby, I'm not Will. I found out about Charlie and immediately wanted to do anything I could to make you both happy. We've raised him together for almost three years now. Kate I put a ring on your finger. Please tell me that you _know_ how committed I am to you. Honey I love you more than I love anyone, barring our children, in the whole world. Kate for as far as it is in my power, I am never gonna leave you. Tell me you know that."

Kate sniffed softly. "But..." she drifted off, shaking her head, unable to push past her fear to talk to him about this.

"But what Kate?" Castle pushed gently, his voice soft and as unthreatening as he could make it.

Kate shrugged. "He's so much _work_ Castle. He takes up so much of your time and you can't be at the precinct anymore.

"If I had never come into your life like this, if you had never known about him, never started dating me, you would have such an easier life. Alexis is in college now, you don't need to be responsible for her every moment and you could enjoy this time. Write, and play cop, and mess around with your video games, fall in and out of love," she paused, her voice breaking.

"If, if we now have _triplets_, you won't be back at the precinct for _years, _if you can come back at all. You'll suddenly have, for all intents and purposes, _four_ newborns to look after. And yeah, I'll cut down my hours even more to help you but Rick, I can't be here every moment of every day unless I quit the force and we both know I can't do that. So, where does that leave us Rick?

"You resenting me when you miss deadlines and get chewed out by Gina? Us arguing every night because you're exhausted from watching the kids all day, and I'm too tired to help because I've just closed a case? How do we do this without losing _us_ Castle? How do we do this and still be a family?"

Castle let himself process her argument for a moment, but in the end he shook his head.

"Kate, being at the precinct with you for those first two and a half years was amazing, I won't deny it. Watching how you work, your brilliant brain puzzling it out, wow Kate.

"But, raising Charlie together has been even better."

Kate raised her head in order to look him in the eye, assessing his truthfulness. She saw nothing but honestly.

"Kate I _adored_ raising Alexis. Loved every minute of it. And yeah, Alexis didn't have seizures at odd intervals. She didn't spend nearly a week in hospital because I'd tried to help her and found that she was amazingly allergic to the drug I'd given her. I was never worried about leaving her alone for two minutes in case she seized while I wasn't there.

"But I _love_ Charlie. Just as much as I love Alexis. And nothing he can do, nothing the doctors can say, will _ever_ change that. And yeah, having one infant is hard, so _three_ is _terrifying_. But we can do it. I _know_ we can. Because we are so very strong Kate. We can handle just about anything. And Kate, I'm not gonna leave. Not now, not ever. I love you. I will _always_ love you. I will never purposefully abandon you nor will I choose to walk away from you. I'm not _him_ Kate. I won't ever hurt you like that."

"I, I know." Kate murmured softly.

"If you knew that, you wouldn't be worried like this. What is it about this situation that scares you most? Is there one thing?"

Kate shook her head before stopping mid movement and shrugging. "I guess, I guess I'm just, not used to needing anyone." She started, stilted and cryptic.

"I know how hard this is Kate but I'm gonna need more detail than that."

Kate sighed softly, running her hand through her hair. "My mom, my dad, Will, I needed them all and when it came down to it they left me, voluntarily or otherwise. And then, I raised Charlie by myself for two years and didn't need anyone. It was just me and him against the world. But, then _you_ came along and I tried so very hard to not need you. But I do. I _do_ need you. And if I have three kids with you Castle, I'm never going to be able to _stop_ needing you." She shook her head at herself. "Castle I love you. With all my heart and every tiny piece of my soul. But, I..."

"Baby, forget me. Alright? Just, forget me for a moment. What do you _want _to do? What do _you_ want to do? What does your gut say, your _heart_?" Castle pushed gently.

Kate shrugged gently, tears building in her eyes. "I love them." She whispered oh so quietly. "I already love them Rick and the thought of, the thought of harming them makes me _sick_." She revealed, her eyes slipping closed. "But, Charlie has to be my priority. He's my baby, my little man and he needs me. He needs me to put him first, always."

"Kate, I can honestly promise you that he won't get left behind if we take this to term."

Kate shrugged, still unable to meet his eye, her fingers once again nervously twisting her engagement ring. "And Alexis?" She asked gently.

"Kate, Alexis loves having a little brother. Charlie is her world. She has a picture of him as her phone background and shows it to everyone she knows. She adores having him in her life. Having another three siblings will be a shock but I'm confident that she'll love it. And hey, at least she'll always get to hold one." The corners of Kate's mouth kicked up in a half smile. "Kate, angel, don't make this decision on anyone but you."

"Would you ever forgive me? If I chose to do anything but take it to term?" She asked the crux of the conversation so shyly it hurt.

"Kate I love you. If that is what you think is right, I'll, I wouldn't _like_ it but, you're more important to me. We'd get through it."

Kate sighed deeply, running her hand through her hair, tilting her head to the ceiling. "I..." she paused, shaking her head slowly, finally looking her fiancé in the eye."I'm gonna get so fat." She warned him quietly.

Rick's heart skipped a beat. "Does that mean what I think it does?"

"You'll still love me when I'm the size of the Hampton's house?" Castle nodded eagerly, his smile growing, matching her tiny one. "Then yeah Rick. It means what you think it means. Let's have triplets Rick."

Castle flew to her and wrapped his arms around her hips, picking her up and kissing her as he spun them in a circle, her giggle matching his own laugh.

They were going to have triplets.

* * *

If this were a sitcom, this is where the audience would cheer. NYLF xx


	8. Chapter 8

Kate laid in bed that night, after spending the day with Charlie.

She'd called Gates once she and Rick had talked and had asked her boss for the day as personal leave. Her boss knew that she was pregnant, had been one of the first people she told after her family- she hadn't even told the boys yet- but she had to tell Gates for safety reasons. It also helped to get time off for appointments. But she would tell her about the fact she was carrying triplets when she got back. Today, she just needed to be with her family, especially given how terrible a day it was turning out to be for Charlie. Gates had agreed almost without hesitation. Being a mother herself, Gates knew what it was like to just need a day with your children.

"What's bothering you Kate?" Castle asked softly, curling his hand a little further around the top of her arm.

Kate looked up at him from her place curled into his side, her head on his chest. "How do you know there's something bothering me?"

Castle chuckled. "Babe, you're thinking loud enough for China to hear you. So, what is it Kate?" He felt her shrug.

"Just thinking." She murmured.

"About...?" He coaxed gently, keen to continue their earlier honesty.

"Stuff. Like, are we gonna put the babies in with Charlie or convert Martha's old room, given how I'm sure you don't want to take away Alexis'. And, are we going to put them in one crib in the beginning or start with three. And are they all going to be in here with us for the first bit, and are they all going to fit."

Castle chuckled. "That's a lot of stuff."

Kate hummed.

"How about we just enjoy this bit first? You're not even three months gone yet Kate; we've got at least another four months, more if we're lucky, to think about this. We don't need to make all the decisions right this minute."

"I know, just, I've only ever done the baby thing with one. I didn't realise how many more questions there would be when there's more of them in the equation."

Rick tilted his body so Kate ended up on her back, while he leaned on his elbow in order to see her face in the low light of their bedroom. He gently smoothed the hand not supporting him across her bump, tucking up the vest she was wearing to get to her skin. "I know. There are a lot of questions, questions we'll answer in due course." He smiled at her gently. "However, we do have a few decisions to make soon."

"Oh?" Kate asked softly, enjoying the feeling of her fiancé's hand on her skin.

"Uh huh. Like, when are we telling people you're pregnant, and do we tell them you're having three at the same time or at another time? When do you want to tell the family that it's triplets, including the kids? When do we tell the press? _Do _we tell the press or do we let them find out for themselves? And what are we gonna call them?"

"You want to think of names? Now?" Kate asked a little incredulous, choosing to ignore the other questions for now. They'd discuss them later.

"Heh, no. Although maybe we _should_ start thinking about it pretty soon, given how we have to find _three_. I meant that personally, I don't want to call them baby A, B and C. I always called Alexis Hiccup, because she always had them when she was in the womb. Didn't you call Charlie something, or were you an 'it' kind of parent?"

Kate smiled tenderly. "He was always just Bubba to me. But I see what you mean. It'll be hard to just call them 'Baby' when there's three of them." She pondered the thought for a few minutes, while Rick traced mindless patterns around her belly button. "Well, before we found out about the other two, you called baby A Icing. You wanna stick to that theme?"

Castle chuckled. "So what, Icing and Sugar Paste for our identicals?"

"Mmm, and MC for our little loner." Kate smiled.

"MC?" Rick queried curiously.

Kate nodded, a playful smile on her face. "For modelling chocolate."

"That's not a type of icing." Rick chuckled.

"No, but you cover cakes in it."

Castle laughed. "You've been watching way too much Cake Boss Kate Beckett."

Kate chuckled, before laying her hand over the back of his, pressing it slightly into her bump.

"Okay, Icing, Sugar Paste and MC it is." He smiled before leaning down to place three kisses in a horizontal line across the widest part of her bump. "Nun-night my sweet, sweet angels."

Rick leaned back, falling asleep with his fiancé in his arms, giggling quietly at his terrible pun.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note-I know, I know. I'm failing epically. But I have three college courses, a brand new job and a social life to keep on top of, so writing has kind of slipped to the wayside a little. But nothing is on hiatus. Okay? Not even temporarily. Whenever I find time to write, I do and will continue to do so. I'm even gonna take a note book with me to work tomorrow so I can write in my break. I haven't forgotten anything, they're coming, just a lot slower than usual. Sorry. NYLF xx

* * *

"Beckett!" Castle's scream a few days later ripped her from her sleep. Kate took all of three seconds to work out where she was before jumping from their bed and running towards the sound of his distraught voice.

She found him, crouched beside Charlie's motionless, half dressed, body, holding the boy's hoodie in his hands.

"Castle?" Kate whispered, her heart in her throat, her stomach in her feet. "Rick?"

He turned to face her, and for a second, Kate wished he hadn't. The paleness of his skin, the fear in his eyes, were making her feel sick.

"Castle what happened?" She tried valiantly to keep calm but couldn't help the break in her voice.

"I, I was just getting him dressed." He looked so terrified.

Kate closed her eyes briefly, turning her head away from the situation. She couldn't watch this play out across his face anymore. Not after everything they had been through lately. It was all just too much. "Is he breathing?" She murmured softly.

"I didn't mean to Kate..."

"That isn't what I asked Rick." Kate replied steadily. "I _asked_ if he was breathing."

Castle bobbed his head. "Y-yeah? He's breathing."

Kate sighed, her whole body deflating in relief.

Castle's face paled only further. "Kate, you thought...?"

"Well Castle, when you're wrenched from your sleep by your fiancé screaming your name, and you come out to find your son laying motionless on the floor, you tend to jump to conclusions."

Castle pulled her into his chest and held her tightly, both of them only now realising how badly she was shaking. "I'm sorry Kate. I got scared and didn't think of how much it would frighten you. I'm sorry honey, frightening you was never my intention."

"What happened that got you so scared?" Kate asked, looking down at Charlie now, taking in his shirt hanging off one arm, his Avengers underwear and white socks. Castle was holding his hoodie but his jeans were nowhere to be seen. He must have hidden them again, her little scamp.

"I think I heard his arm snap." Kate's eyes shot to his from her detailed check of her son. "I was helping him put on his shirt, so I had hold of his wrist, and he just hit the deck Kate, convulsing on the way down. I didn't have time to let go." Rick defended nervously.

Kate sat down beside Charlie, gently smoothing her fingertips across his forehead. "How long has he been unresponsive?"

"He TC'd for a few seconds before going all absence on me. He's been like this since just after I called for you."

Kate hummed softly.

"Kate I may have _broken_ his arm and all you can do is hum?" He asked incredulously, panic still scribbled across his face like an impenetrable mask.

"Did you mean to hurt him?" Kate asked matter-of-factly.

"No, Kate, of course I didn't, I'd never..."

"Have you ever hurt him before?" She interrupted calmly.

"Never on purpose." He murmured regretfully.

"Do you have a history of abusing him? Or Alexis?"

"Kate!" He exclaimed. "I would _never- _oh..." he trailed off, finally understanding what she was doing.

"Exactly. It was going to happen eventually. Both of us are too strong for his bones if we have a hold of him when he has a seizure. It isn't anyone's fault. It happens Rick."

Castle shuddered. "It was one of the worst things I've ever experienced."

"I know. I've done it." Castle shot her a concerned look. "Not on him." She assured him. "But I've broken bones on a suspect before. The feeling of their tibia giving way doesn't leave you. Nor does the sound." Rick shuddered again. "But it's okay." She assured him softly, carefully taking his hand in hers once she'd pried off his white knuckle grip on Charlie's hoodie. "I'll take him to hospital, get him x-rayed and we'll go from there. I just need to call Gates and let her know what happened."

"You aren't, you aren't gonna tell her how he broke his arm right?" Castle asked nervously.

"Rick it was an _accident_," she reminded him pointedly, "but of course I'm not. I'll tell her he had a seizure and needs medical attention. Anything else can wait until we have confirmation either way. But no, I wasn't planning on telling her that you broke his arm Rick. She's a police captain; she'd automatically jump to an unjust and untruthful conclusion. As will the medical staff."

Castle sighed softly.

"Rick this wasn't your fault. Remember that for me okay?" She waited for his nod before continuing. "Good. Now, could you find his jeans for me? I'll sit with him while he comes round then we'll get him dressed and I'll take him. Though, it may be better if we both go?"

"Maybe. I'll get his stuff ready." Castle stood before sighing, running a near frantic hand through his already sleep messy hair. "We haven't even told anyone about the babies yet and now we have to explain a broken arm? Did we break a mirror or something?"

Kate shook her head as she watched him wander away before leaning down to whisper to Charlie. "Daddy's silly huh baby?"


End file.
